What if you received the divine revelation that the love you sought was coming, but that you needed to be patient? What if He, the Creator of the universe, made known the exact year and time you’d get married, but it was a few years down the line? Would you still think that God was good? Or, would it hurt your life perception?
That’s a question I’ve been pondering lately. The more I think about it, the more it seems to me that realizing that love has a set timing just like everything else God does, is not a bad thing. As human beings, when we have a burning desire, oftentimes, it’s the only thing we think about. We talk about it, dream about it, chase it, and otherwise obsess over it. To the dismay of even the best among us, we might even find ourselves lighting up when we encounter individuals who, in our minds, could potentially be a good match.
It’s no secret why people search so hard for love. Mankind is a social animal, and we weren’t created to be alone. For many, there is an inherent desire to share that love with someone special. Someone that we can ride with until the wheels fall off. But, not everyone finds that happily-ever-after early in life. Even for those who do, and progress to marriage, the challenges they face can be complex. With divorce rates being what they are, it’s clear that many give up when love fades or trust is broken. After that, they might stay single or remarry, navigating life’s ups and downs. But there are those who find real happiness in love. They stick together, putting effort into their relationship every day, knowing it takes more than just love to make it last.
“For many, there is an inherent desire to share that love with someone special. Someone that we can ride with until the wheels fall off. But, not everyone finds that happily-ever-after early in life.”
Among the singles, the indecisive have their fair share of hurdles too. You know, those who aren’t quite sure what they want, and at the same time, can’t say for certain whether or not they’ve encountered their dream person. Many people in that grouping are simply afraid of taking chances. Are they right or wrong for their apprehension? Who is to say? Sure, perfection isn’t the goal, but finding a suitable partner is still crucial. Yet, there’s the harsh reality: if you want something or someone, you have to go after it; otherwise, someone else will. This lesson became strikingly clear one morning when I dropped my daughter off at school. As I walked into the canteen to buy fruit for her break, I noticed the last slice of watermelon. At the same time, I spotted her teacher, whom I needed to speak with. Instead of grabbing the watermelon and waiting for the attendant to collect payment, I prioritized the conversation. While important, I could have taken the watermelon and still engaged in the discussion. Seconds later, I glanced back, only to find the watermelon tray empty. A man beside me held two slices, ready to pay. Thankfully, he kindly offered me one, ensuring my daughter had her fruit. However, the lesson lingered: seize what you desire before someone else does. This underscores the issue with indecision, particularly in relationships.
A small percentage of us are dedicated to maintaining our standards, and that’s not a bad thing at all. In fact, it’s likely the one thing that can spare us from a whole lot of unnecessary drama! This sort of precision becomes integral when you’ve already made some not so carefully mapped out decisions. However, where it gets tricky is when maintaining our standards intersects with seizing the day. We don’t want to make the wrong choice, but we also want to make hay while the sun is shining, as the popular idiom goes.
“Where it gets tricky is when maintaining our standards intersects with seizing the day. We don’t want to make the wrong choice, but we also want to make hay while the sun is shining.”
Somewhere in the midst of all these groups are the ones who are just flat out tired of being single, even while in relationships. Even while married. This often happens when the person they’re with doesn’t put in enough effort or care. There is nothing wrong with being in the single lane, but it certainly is no fun when you thought you were in a completely different season. For those who really are single according to the definition of the word as it pertains to relationships, there is hope in this reminder: All you need is for one door to open.
You don’t need everyone to like you. You don’t have to sign up for countless dating sites or call into dating platforms where the online audiences rip you apart. You also don’t need to attend every single event, but isolating yourself in your bedroom isn’t the solution either. It’s all about finding a careful balance! Be wary of accepting dozens upon dozens of Facebook or Instagram requests from people who just might be the one. Sure they’re fine, but they’re probably not the one. After all, it is just one, unless of course you’re into polygamy, which most certainly is not my editorial lane. What you really need to have is discernment. Is it time? Our Creator knows. Are you ready? If you’re not, you probably should get ready as He won’t have us waiting for a single second when the time is right.
So, what do we do in the meantime? We live. We don’t waste time in wrong relationships but instead, move forward. We focus on becoming the best versions of ourselves, through hell and high water. We pray and rely on the grace of God to get us there. We believe. We grow, and we love. We learn to love. We help. We do whatever it is that God is calling us to do, and we listen intently. When the time is right, He will make it happen (Isaiah 60:22). At that time, when we knock, the door shall be opened.
